wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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