butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
