Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
