K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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