I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
