Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
