Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
