that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
