hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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