With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
