haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
