that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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