she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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