dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
