I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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