So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
