so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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