yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
