I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
