I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Randomize
