If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you never un-have a 4some
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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