So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
