I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
