Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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