i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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