I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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