There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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