Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I enjoy the company of your penis
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
