Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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