i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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