Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
