But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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