We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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