..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
