there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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