Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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