I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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