she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
