you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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