What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
