Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
