when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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