So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
