This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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