i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
