Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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