Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
