Me. At least after what I've been through.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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