He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
