I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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