They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I touched a dick in church today
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
