Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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