is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Where is the hickey?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
